Friday, July 22, 2011

War at Home

Today marks the first day where I realize what my worst flaw is. The flaw in which I never admitted to, even though I recognized that it was there in front of me every time I entered my own home. Who would think, your worst flaw lies in your own home? I never thought so.


I am the eldest son in a family of 6 children (3 being from my step mother). Being the eldest comes with many responsibilities, one in which to watch over and care for the younger siblings. I was great at it as we were still very young, taking care of them while my mom slept after working 3rd shifts and my dad was away selling homes. As we grew older, the family individually grew apart. As I entered high-school, my parents filed for divorce. I saw it coming and prepared for it.  My brothers, however were still young and not fully understanding the situation. I failed on preparing them for what was to come, to tell them that no matter what happens, we will still have each other as brothers and they were not alone. It was emotionally hard for me but it is no excuse for not being there for them. I cannot imagine how hard it was for them.


Now, we are all different. Different as in our social lives, education, behaviors, hobbies, etc. Being different is a good thing, but it can cause many different point of views that has clashed and will continue to if nothing is changed. My attention needs to shift. I need to start this change before it is too late. It may already be too late, but I still have to try. It first starts by knowing what the problem is.


My biggest flaw: not putting my attention at home where it is needed the most to tend to the ones close to me. It is as if I avoided all the problems at home. A war raged and I turned my back to it. 

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Still working and progressing towards my medical career to contribute my time and energy to the wellness of others.